Friday, December 6, 2013

All About Action, But No Results?


Wait- it's not that same tired image of the goldfish jumping from a crowded bowl into its own unique bowl, escaping the school of common little follower fish to achieve a higher level of self-actualization...

What is going to happen to the fish, people? 
Yes. There is no rescue out of frame. The fish is a goner. 

The point? A spectacular burst of energy doesn't guarantee a good result.

Your takeaway? Think about the past year. Were there any times when you had a big burst of energy and action, but no payoff? What can you learn? Was it follow-through that failed? Was it a lack of planning or unclear goals? Maybe there was a rescue you were expecting, just out of frame? 

Sometimes the payoff is all about what you learn. December is a month of reflection. Take an honest look at where you invested in 2013 and what the return was- take an outsider's view. No judgement, no "if only". 

The good thing is that, unlike the goldfish in the image, you can use what you learn to ensure a better outcome next time. Learning forward, a key survival skill.




Monday, November 4, 2013

Want to know how to handle failure? Lessons from a pro.





Heading to the end of the year, some might be afraid to analyze their results. What if you've not achieved what you set out to do? What if you are....a FAILURE?

Well, if you let it be, it is very very simple. As always- deal with the facts, learn from them and move forward. Here's something from a blog post that Hanna's soccer coach shared with her team.
As U.S. Soccer’s Technical Director and U-18 national team coach, I’m always watching and evaluating players to assess their threshold to endure failure. 
I’m looking for which players fail and yet keep going; for which players fail and can laugh at themselves; for which players fail, go away, work on it and come back better. 
If I see a player who lacks the ability to embrace fits of failure, I worry about her long-term potential in the U.S. women’s national team program....
We fail all the darn time -- we have to in order to improve. Now that I think of it, and after more than 25 years in our program, embracing failure on a daily basis is one of our secret ingredients!   - April Heinrich

In the same article, Heinrich says:
It really is that simple: You need the desire to improve, the time spent learning/growing/failing/improving, combined with feedback from a coach, and then the repetitions and perseverance toward steps of success.  
Whether it's soccer or learning how to create a business that serves you well, the "steps to success are the same."

If you aren't happy with your performance, take a look at the prescription Heinrich's shared. Are there any ingredients you're missing?

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Is the distance from "inadequate" to "competent and complimented" between your ears?




In my Facebook group for lawyers, there's a small group of active posters, so we get to know each other fairly well. Here's a post that went up recently:
Remember my I-feel-so-inadequate-and-over-my-head post from last week? Well, after fretting and researching and talking to Sezzers and other local lawyers and drafting and redrafting, I finally filed my complaint today and was complimented on it by one of my mentors AND opposing counsel! #redemption 

There's something called "impostor syndrome"- which might resonate with you. If so- it's another of those "get over it" things. The best way to do that is to recognize the pattern of thinking, and then change it. When you are having those thoughts, go through Byron Katie's The Work:

Step 1 Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to 3.)
Step 2 Can you absolutely know that it's true? (Yes or no.)
Step 3 How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? 
 Who would you be without the thought?
Turn the thought around. Then find at least three specific, genuine examples of how each turnaround is true for you in this situation.
In this example, the turn-around thought might be:
"Yes, this is new for me, and it feels a little uncomfortable, but I know how to find the help I need in order to deliver a great result even when the issue is new." 

Get it? Next time you start doubting yourself, get out of your head, change your response, and get to work. You really don't have the time or energy to waste on thoughts like that!

If you'd like to join our Facebook group, the next time you're on Facebook, just request an invite- it's called Friends of Successfully Solo.