Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Who do you want to be? (growing up not required)

It's impossible to avoid the notion of goals entirely at this time.  I'm big on goals, but I know they can have as negative an impact as they do positive- depending on how you think about them. Still, it's my first post of 2010, so you're getting something about goals. Inevitable.

There are three kinds of goals- being, doing, having. Most people focus on the second two, with action plans and milestones.  But, in fact- the "being" goals might be most important when it comes to achieving the "doing" and "having" goals. A goal of being confident supports the goal of doing marketing activities that will bring in high-value clients, which, in turn, supports the goal of having enough income to pay off debt.

The beauty of the "being" goals is that the only prerequisite is choice. If you choose to be more confident, you can start right now. If you choose to be someone who takes very good care of herself, you start right now.  You'll argue that it's not that simple, but how about giving it a try? Let it be that simple. Take confidence, you could spend a lot of time in therapy understanding why you lack confidence, but in fact, you could also just start where you are and choose to be confident. To act confident. There are resources that can help. Books about self-talk, for example, and you might use tactics like a "brag" book or fan club, but it starts with that clear intention of being confident.

Finally, we get to the title of this post. Who do you want to be?  Take a sheet of paper and write "I am a man/woman who" at the top. Then make a list of everything that comes to mind. Then, yes, you know what's coming. Action. Once you have a list you like, think about how you can start being that person right now. You don't have to write anything down on a calendar, you don't have to make an announcement. We aren't talking "resolutions". Just start being exactly who you want to be, in every small and large way possible.

As you walk out of whoever it was that you were being before you decided who you want to be, you might make some misteps; you might think the shoes don't fit. Or- you might find that you're much more comfortable than you expected. Either way, you get to choose who you want to be every moment of every day. What an excellent way to start a new year- being just who you want to be!

Happiest of new years to you, dear reader.