Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Is the distance from "inadequate" to "competent and complimented" between your ears?




In my Facebook group for lawyers, there's a small group of active posters, so we get to know each other fairly well. Here's a post that went up recently:
Remember my I-feel-so-inadequate-and-over-my-head post from last week? Well, after fretting and researching and talking to Sezzers and other local lawyers and drafting and redrafting, I finally filed my complaint today and was complimented on it by one of my mentors AND opposing counsel! #redemption 

There's something called "impostor syndrome"- which might resonate with you. If so- it's another of those "get over it" things. The best way to do that is to recognize the pattern of thinking, and then change it. When you are having those thoughts, go through Byron Katie's The Work:

Step 1 Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to 3.)
Step 2 Can you absolutely know that it's true? (Yes or no.)
Step 3 How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? 
 Who would you be without the thought?
Turn the thought around. Then find at least three specific, genuine examples of how each turnaround is true for you in this situation.
In this example, the turn-around thought might be:
"Yes, this is new for me, and it feels a little uncomfortable, but I know how to find the help I need in order to deliver a great result even when the issue is new." 

Get it? Next time you start doubting yourself, get out of your head, change your response, and get to work. You really don't have the time or energy to waste on thoughts like that!

If you'd like to join our Facebook group, the next time you're on Facebook, just request an invite- it's called Friends of Successfully Solo.